Once again about female-male friendship
The topic of female-male friendship is inexhaustible. As long as the human race exists, debates on this matter will continue. Some believe that true friendship does not depend on gender, while others are convinced that under the guise of friends, lovers are always hiding… Well, I won’t argue; it’s a personal matter for everyone. I will simply express some of my thoughts on this issue. Fortunately, I have enough experience in it.
It all started in childhood. At the summer house where I spent every summer, my friends for games were only boys. It just so happened that none of the neighbors had daughters, except for me. At that time, it was hard to even call me a girl – a real tomboy in shorts, a cap, and with a short haircut. It’s not surprising that over the years this habit of befriending men didn’t disappear. You ask why? It’s simple: they are more sincere and loyal as friends, can really help (not just cry together) in difficult times; they always express their thoughts clearly, so there’s no need to guess about anything. And, as a rule, they don’t harbor malice. If they don’t like something, they say it directly, without beating around the bush. Maybe I like this way of behaving because I myself possess some masculine traits of character.
Well, now for the other side of the coin. It would be unfair to present only a positive attitude towards “dual-gender” friendship. You won’t believe it, but just five years ago I fell into my own trap. On one hand, I was friends with men, and on the other hand, I was terribly jealous of my boyfriend’s female friends. Stas is quite a handsome guy, and he always had girls around him. It was hard to understand which one was a true friend and which one was the ultimate homewrecker. I cried at night, threatened to leave if another “scraggly cat” called at midnight, but I still endured it. Because I loved him. Then I met my future husband, and everything changed. I must admit, I am so glad that my husband only has male friends!… You might say it’s unfair? Perhaps, but it’s easier to be confident in one’s own innocence than in someone else’s.
By the way, if you suspect that there’s something fishy in your partner’s “dual-gender” friendship, it’s easy to check. True friends never meet in secret; they have a lot of joint photos. When you just started dating, the first person you were introduced to was likely that close friend. And it doesn’t matter who it is – Sveta or Romych. But lovers disguised as friends behave quite differently. They try not to be seen together anywhere, automatically hide their meeting places, and leave the room during phone conversations. This is done instinctively, although it would be better to behave openly.
In short, each of us will relate to female-male friendship according to our own experiences. There are no clear rules here – life itself sets the conditions. No one can guarantee that a long-time friend of your husband won’t end up in your marital bed someday. And at the same time, you might find a neighbor, a stranger, or even…your own best friend there. So does it make sense to condemn friendship if such unpleasant surprises are just coincidences?
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